Loneliness in the crowd

Recently I’ve been feeling a bit low and sad although perhaps an improvement over what I have felt in the not so long ago past. But what concerned me the most were the people around me. This is a little post on this.

People often influence what you do. Also when you want connection you usually seek it from people .So many people who are dulled out and that I find it hard to relate with. There are many people who are not worth spending time with and don’t really contribute to anything plus probably wouldn’t be able to relate to me either. Especially where I am at now (where people are even duller and seem to have a lack) the people I am required to associate with are often a drag on me and not a very good role models either.

The feeling of loneliness in the crowd is real. But the feeling that bugs me the most is that one of rejection. When you feel unwanted.

I do think to myself, right well don’t overthink all this just accept it. But having to deal with it all the time does make me sorta want to hide from the world further. I’ve already dealt with similar feelings in the past but it does get to me this, because I do try and reach out to people, but when that isn’t accepted it sorta bounces back to you as a feeling of disappointment. And each time I probably lose more composure and feel worse though the upside is more resilience (and my secondary school used to repeat over and over).

I suppose though challenges in life are good to some extent. But I guess isolation is after a while lonely especially when you don’t have other things to occupy you and after a while losing touch with things.

I’d say what is important though is finding connection to the self and enjoying life.

The opportunities and freedom you gain being alone are great. Like taking a quiet walk, observing things that others might not notice and going to places you want to go to.Sure there are missed opportunities with not being with people I suppose but you know if the people you could of been with are not worth it you probably aren’t missing anything and often people put up a facade. If drinking, doing drugs, listening to loud music are your game then  I rather not be involved.

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