People can reject sex for any reason

These are my opinions I do not wish to upset anyone. This topic may be sensitive to some and not for those young.

Anyone is entitled to reject someone for sex for any reason right? Apparently according to some people not wanting to have sex with someone trans is wrong because even if they are not the sex you usually go for, if their gender identity matches that of that sex.

Is preferring to have sex with someone of the same sex to avoid getting a pregnancy wrong? Is it wrong to only want straight or gay sex (sex orientation based)? I thought people were allowed to be with whoever they want that they are attracted to. And sex is risky and intimate thing I don’t think to take lightly, if someone doesn’t like or not interested then there is no reason they should.

While I think open mindness is good and some people do carry bias whether it be racial or whatever. The amount of people sending threats to those who do not want to have sex with them such as in the trans case but even just with anyone is staggering. Even putting those others who may identify as ‘trans’ in a bad place. I even believe that sometimes sexuality is quite fluid for a lot (but maybe not all some people do have more innate orientation to one side) of people and we don’t always need to be so quick to judge but I think these decisions should be made by the individuals themselves not by others forcing it down on them. There is attraction based on many things like femininity, masculinity whatever (though don’t necessarily need to label). At the end of the day we like who we like and even if some of that is influenced by society and upbringing (stereotypes, values etc), naturally that won’t include everyone.

And if you are “bi” you are still entitled to have boundaries and reject people even if that is 99 per cent of people.

If you are asexual you don’t need to succumb to pressure or find medical cures or whatever.

Even if you are not technically asexual nor call yourself so you do not need to have sex. Whether you are abstaining, can’t find the ‘right person’ or just don’t care.

People need to know its alright not to want to have sex. Guys who keep going back to the same girl because they might change their mind like stop it’s not nice to pressure people. Or cast doubt on their intentions. There are other ways to be close other than this and it should be up to individuals what they want to do, getting someone else to have sex with you isn’t a right as such it has to be mutually consensual in a honest place, not violating people’s boundaries. That said i’m not a fan of mutually consensual more violent practices either that some people are into but I think it is still in that case up to the people involved until it gets really bad.

Four leaf clovers, five leaf clovers

I’ve found a lot of four leaf and five leaf clovers before. But recently i’ve found a lot more in a specific field. On one day I found 5 four leaf clovers, and 1 five leaf clover. I thought that was pretty good and I took them home. On another day I decided to look around the same field again.  Amazingly there were loads and loads of four leaf clovers all growing there around the same sort of area. After collecting what I could hold I got 21 four leaf clovers and 8 five leaf clovers. Crazy. I didn’t find any six leaf clovers though (yet).

How to find four leaf and five leaf clovers

Walk through and spend some time looking at clovers, such as in fields etc. Keep a keen eye out. When you find what looks like might be a four leaf clover have a closer look and touch it to see. Often you may see three leaf clovers stuck to each other, which can be deceiving. But after looking around a lot you may be lucky and find a four leaf clover. Once you find one four leaf clover you will tend to find more of them around each other, and maybe a few five leaf ones too. So keep looking around once you located one.

Eliminating unhealthy influences from life

 

Cut out the things that put you down. The people who don’t genuinely make you happy. Make time for the things you enjoy.

It doesn’t however you shouldn’t face challenges or should hide negative feelings. Think long term too sometimes. Eating lots of sugary foods for example can give you a happiness boost at the time however it can leave you feeling lower at other times, as well as being addictive and unhealthy if you consume too much of it.

 

 

Healthy balancing

Often with a diet too much of anything is bad for you and it becomes an issue of balance. You want certain proportions of certain vitamins. This can vary on what activities you do, your genetics, enviroment etc.

So you have to balance it with many things, there is some leeway here of course and your body can cope with many abuses.

Another issue is what form you take something in. Taking refined sugar is much stronger as it is pure. Drinking juices which are in smoothie form are better than pure juice because of the way the smoothie contains bits helps the body to process the drink. With soy it’s more healthy to eat the fermented products though the non fermented products can be minimally good too well depending where you get them from and what your body can take.

The interesting thing is the idea of too much of anything can be applied to life generally too.

Dealing with our demons

It’s important to deal with our ‘demons’ (problems) before they get bigger and complex. When they begin they have be really simple. However they grow as they become interlinked with other issues or reinforced with thoughts. Don’t let these sorts of problems have control over you and deal with them at the root. Also don’t think about them being around you attached to you, but within you think about the strength you have to overcome and change. Don’t let external issues like this hold you down.

Feeling pain at ‘the heart’

You may have felt before the sensation holding in feelings that really need to be released but not knowing how exactly. It’s not as simple as just letting go. It’s like a big tangled up rope that is secured and held down at many points.

To target these sorts of things its usually a long term process. It is important though to have a ‘positive’ (i.e. for change) mindset about this. Also understanding how your feelings and thoughts and linked. The other thing to consider is to target these issues at the root. Overtime you may realise you had problems or issues you never thought you had so it’s never so simple and you have to approach these things at multiple angles. These sorts of things also exist at multiple levels so it is also complex in that sense.

 

 

Giving and taking

Exchanges continously happen in life between people or things. People give and take all the time. When we buy things for example this is quite an obvious form of exchange represented through money. Gift giving is another. Also when friends help each other though not always equally. There are other examples however relating to how we take things in the enviroment and how we give back though unfortunately people often take too much.

Even breathing is a form of exchange. It is important to see how interlinked everything really is and I think if more people recognised this then we would treat the enviroment better.

‘I’m quitting’

I’ve decided that it would be a good idea for me to try and drop certain activities and try to focus on what I really want to do. I want to think about what I do and try more new things out. So when I do stuff I guess I will try to put more focus and energy in. Sometimes it’s kind of scary to try new things, but I know it can be a really good thing to broaden your mind. (one of the themes of this blog is broadness).

Howling

Being near the horizon

Howling into darkness

Nobody can hear you

Nobody knows

what you mean

We’ve met our limit

There is no way forward

No more to see

No way past the Horizon

It’s over.

 

Identifying childhood/adulthood trauma and other heavy emotional experiences (experimental)

(Note: This is experimental and not proven, it is there to make you think please don’t just take these words as they are. thanks.)

To identify past traumas firstly you need to find out where in which time period it is located and what it is associated with. So first roughly figure out what things happened, why, how you felt who was involved etc. Try to untangle your feelings from it and try to look at all the associated events or emotions that came after or before it. Try to identify when you first felt like how you felt and whether it got worse or not. Things like this are complicated and may affect you at many levels which may not be apparent at first. Identifying conflicts within yourself might be another hint into uncovering past feelings.

You can take the approach of unwinding events through time like a video tape to try and get a sense of what happened. It is important not to attach yourself to these things and see them as not you but events and experiences you went through. This is very important. Don’t try to hold anything too close to you, its important to let go of the past sometimes. Once you identify the problems involved you are on the way to solving it. It’s not easy but questioning the feelings kind of like certain methods taken from CBT can help. Try to let the emotions naturally release if possible. Using affirmations can be good as long as you aren’t just saying things emptily this can be a useful. There are some other methods too that are very good potentially better than I might go over later on, I will mention however that methods using hypnosis or reprogramming at a behavioural but not inner level will not be useful and are potentially harmful. Also some methods are very unbalanced and by only look at one aspect of you issues while avoiding another. Some neutralisation by opposite methods are good but potentially if used badly could be harmful in a sort of way as being too much of a quick easy method. Its important to not rely on one method and use several.